I was pretty sure I'd be too busy rolling my eyes at it to actually absorb anything written on the page.
As it turns out, this book spurred me to take a long look at myself and the choices I'd made- both healthy and un- and to ask myself a lot of questions I hadn't thought to ask myself in a very long time, if ever. I had heard about relationship addiction in passing but never took it seriously before reading Robin Norwood's book. It is a serious condition that can have as much potential to negatively affect a person's life as any controlled substance. Most media that we are exposed to reinforce this misperception and have done so for centuries across many cultures.
The setting and characters may be different, but the lesson always boils down to, "being a woman in love is being a woman in pain.
That women who are addicted to relationships often use their desire to help their significant other to control their behavior. Of course, this is set up for disaster and heart ache, but women keep repeating this sick pattern over and over. I learned the most from the first and last quarters of the book, but would have appreciated more attention to recovery than the repetitive anecdotes from women who suffer with addiction.
This book is a "classic" for sure and the subject is still very relevant, but I thought it still has a very 80's vibe. The anecdotes from women who suffer from relationship addiction were helpful, but after reading so many depressing, cyclical stories I decided I needed to skim, or skip over some of them because they didn't really apply to what I was interested in taking away from this book. I think if the anecdotes were condensed more it took up over two-thirds of the book in my estimation I feel like I could have enjoyed it better, some of these stories were very difficult for me to read at one time.
Feb 19, Rebecca Nolan rated it really liked it. I picked this up on the way out of my sons' head start during a separation with my husband. I didn't think I would get very far into it but thought I should try considering my situation. Sometimes God sends us little signs, like the lonely old book sitting on the table next to the door! Feb 25, Passenger B.
I would agree with those who stated they found the book to be repetitive. A sad fact because in my mind the subject at hand is even more current nowadays than it was some 30 years ago when the book was first published. My thought is that perhaps repetitiveness was precisely the point in order to help the reader re-wire their brain structures and form other thoughts and habits about themselves and relationships in general?
I could be wrong of course. As virtually the same story was re-told or re- I would agree with those who stated they found the book to be repetitive.
Although the book carries an important message, it does get lost along the lamentations of the author's patients, as well as her own descriptions and interpretations of what said women had shared with her. Personally I would have wished for shorter chapters, going through cases briefly only and focusing mainly on keywords to remind yourself a what is happening in the relationship b how to apply what you learned in this book in real life. And it's strange because the author started that way, with a checklist outlining fifteen recurring issues in this type of relationship and among this type person that "loves too much.
Part of HuffPost Lifestyle. Insight or understanding is not enough for the client. Previous Post By Allan. Download Hi Res. I would recommend this book to any woman, or man for that matter, who has always struggled with intimate relationships,as I found the content could apply to men as much as to women. Its important to make sure that your happiness stems from within and is not based on external factors because you will lose yourself in the relationship and lose your power to give it to him. Susan
The book was written for the layman, so there aren't clinical terms being used or overused, which I could imagine is part of the book's continued success after about three decades on the market. So while I like this book there are a few too many flaws that irk me and that seem like somewhat of an oversight, and paired with the fact that the writing style varies quite drastically in quality, I can only award this one 2. Shelves: non-fiction , owned , reference , psychology. Wow, this book basically sums up the story of my life and relationships!
I had always wondered where I kept going wrong, as to care is to do the right things, right? Well, yes, it is good to care, it is good to love, but how do you know that you are caring in the right way, loving in the right way? Do any of us even know what love is?
This book teaches that love shouldn't be about suffering, no matter what overly-popular television programmes and movies would like to tell us, but should be about Wow, this book basically sums up the story of my life and relationships! This book teaches that love shouldn't be about suffering, no matter what overly-popular television programmes and movies would like to tell us, but should be about a mutual caring and respect, and one that doesn't leave us feeling forced to smother another in our attempts to "help" them, make them better.
I have always found myself drawn to relationships where I have felt that I have needed to be the "carer". This hasn't, in my mind, been because I've necessarily been drawn to bad people, like some people are, but partly because I don't feel like I'm useful, or needed, if I can't fulfill a role where I can show that I care.
Wouldn't I just be abandoned if I can't give everything? What if I'm not good enough?
Of course, a lot of it stems down to self-esteem, which I know I've been lacking in, until recently. It doesn't necessarily mean that my choices have changed as my confidence has grown, but my willingness to put up with certain behaviour has! I truly do recommend this book for any woman or man, even who has found themselves cycling through relationships and never seeming to be able to get it "right". It has helped me a lot in understanding my behaviour, both now and in the past. Apr 04, Kayleen Baguley rated it it was amazing.
This book was definitely an answer to my prayers.
I now understand myself so much better and I am so grateful for the inspiration and recommendation of my friend to read this book. I think that every woman should read this book, because even if she doesn't personally suffer from the "disease" of "Loving Too Much", I guarantee that she has a best friend, sister, mother, cousin, or another female in her life that does. I think that relationships would last longer and be more healthy and happy if every person read this book. Please share this book with anyone that you know is struggling with relationships in any way!
The best part came at the end of the book when she started to list the things to do to help recover. I was happy to know that I have been slowly working on each of those things and I am going to continue working on them. I am grateful to have the tools and the knowledge necessary to heal myself, to nurture myself, to heal my self-esteem, and to attract healthy, nurturing, beautiful relationships in my life.
So thankful for this book!!!!! Feb 19, Eek-a-mouse rated it it was amazing. For many years this book was suggested to me, until I finally read it, It holds the key to a completely new self, to a better, a satisfactory and healthy life. Wheras the main content of the book simpy is be more selfish, make yourself happy, and every one else will be; it shows relationship structures and the origin of certain behaviours.
You deserve to be loved for who you are, and not for your sacrifices.
For some it takes a book this book to understand this. Feb 26, Bebe Booth rated it it was amazing. If you are prone to give your all in relationships only to be left high and dry when it's all said and done this is an insightful book. If you are eager to give your love this is for you to men that use it and abuse it, read this. If you for any reason are not sure if you should read this boon then READ it. Obviously if you weren't interested in some aspect you wouldn't be researching it. You wouldn't even notice it if you aren't interested.
This is an amazing book that helped me get through a huge break up, and to look at how I had dealt with intimate relationships over the years. I also got the opportunity to dig into the deep emotional avenues of my soul, and look at my father issues face to face. I highly recommend it to any woman who has noticed unhealthy relationship patterns in their life. This books helps you to see "why," rather than blame yourself.
Jan 21, Keala rated it it was amazing. This book was required reading for my SisterCare group. Reading this book probably saved my life. It forced me to examine myself and change some of my weak ways. I am not the same woman I once was thanks to this book. Feb 18, Laura rated it did not like it.
I found the first chapter really interesting, but the rest was a series of incredibly repetitive case studies that were incredibly dull. I got the point from the first chapter and there didn't seem to be much reason to keep reading it after that.
Sep 02, April rated it it was ok Recommended to April by: Kate. I am all for learning about yourself, even reading one of Oprah's self help books once in a while but this was awful.
If you are going to read a book about codependency or women who need to respect themselves more, I would not suggest this one. Jul 24, PattyMacDotComma rated it liked it. Plenty of good advice for those seeking it. Aug 04, Shane rated it it was amazing. This book changed my life!